Keeping up with the Joneses

Day 3

And what a day it was!

Granted, this typhoon (I just like using that word!) dumped inches of rain and high winds. But living on the east coast makes you pretty weather resistant and this was nothing we couldn't handle! We came up with a game plan that involved mostly indoor activities, zipped up our trusty jackets and were off. Wanting to get to our destination quickly, we decided to navigate the subway system. And to our delight it was easy, peasy (once we figured out how to operate the change machine). The tube got us downtown within minutes and we arrived at stop #1 safe and sound: The aquarium.

We dropped $30 bucks for admission, ready to be delighted by lots of slimy, colorful, kissy face creatures. Our expectations were a wee bit high.

The place was cool, and kept us outta the downpour for a bit, but saying it was a good bang for our buck would be a stretch. They did have cool tubes you walk through with the fishies swimming all around you, but they make it hard to see straight. Jesus, we're delicate flowers, aren't we? We touched stong rays and star fish and got stared down by a huge octopus eye. In a word: creepy.

We decided some warmth in our bellies would help us make it through the wet walk ahead, so made a detour to this cool place called Boudin's that makes fresh soughdough bread daily. We shared chilli in a bread bowl - delish! - and got a chuckle at the teddy bear loaves...see the one on the top of the shelf?

We found stop #2 with ease: Musee Mecanique, a big warehouse full of ancient mechanical arcade games. For just a few bucks, we were entertained by creepy dancing dolls, old skee ball, an intricate mechanical circus, even viewing thingys that promised a "XXX" movie for $0.50. Sold! Ha, what followed was a photo flip show of a fully clothed man and woman angrily tossing each other around the room. Ummm...OK.

We continued onward; took in a neat view of the Golden Gate, peered through the windows of a little chapel for lost seamen that was unfortunately locked, and noted the seagulls around here are damn big. That's when serendipity stepped in and led us to stop #3: a series of art galleries. I tiptoed in, eyes bulging outta my head and a lump in my throat. "Um, are we allowed to walk around here?" I asked tentatively. The man sitting behind the desk chuckled and said "Yes, we're a gallery. Where are you visiting from?" Young, small world Atlantic Canadians we were then, but I didn't care. There were amazing bronze sculptures, Dr. Suess lithographs, a huge LeRoy Neiman collection and even, you ready for it?, original Salvador Dali sketches. It's OK, you can pee your pants now; I almost did.

Knowing we still had a ways to go to reach stop #4, I composed myself and off we went. Up, up, up Hyde Street, until half way up I notice lots of white things on the hill.

Could it be? No, that'd be weird. But wait, it is! Goats! Lots and lots of goats! In a totally random, very steep and completely fenced in place. What the?!

A local passerby explained that they are brought here for one or two weeks every year to eat up the hillside so it doesn't grow outta control. We happened to be witnessing a very unique sustainability ritual; how fantastic!

We ooh and aah for a few minutes before we finally make it to stop #4: Lombard Steet, the crookedest street in the world, and boy, they aren't kidding! Snap some pics, again with the oohs and aahs, then stop #5: Starbucks for a rest and some water!

Except they don't have washrooms for lovely paying customers apparently, so we need need to cut our rest short and head off in search of public ones. I had intended on going by myself, they're just around the corner I'm told, but thank God Darrell decided to come with me. En route, a homeless man jumped out of a bush at us and scared me half to death! Funny now, not funny then.

I'm now completely unnerved, Darrell inspects the washroom before I go in, I get 'er done quickly, and promptly decide I want to go home. I hate public washrooms, creepy ass men, and wrinkly toes. The fact that I'm experiencing all three is a sign and I'll take it.

The night is capped off with some dry clothes and delightful, comforting pasta from a friendly neighbourhood spot called The Sausage Factory. Lessons learned today: Keep your eyes on the bushes and start ordering one meal between the two of us. Our bellies are way to wee to keep up with the Joneses. Or any American, for that matter.